Do You Know I Love You?

Waking up early is not my favorite thing. My definition of early is anything before 8 am.

When my son's birthday was fast approaching, I asked him how he wanted to celebrate. Because his birthday fell on a school day, some of the excitement had already been sucked out so I was determined to do what I could to fill it again.

"How about pancakes for breakfast, Mom?"

He sensed my hesitation as the debate waged war in my mind: That means I have to get up even earlier. I'm already getting up at 6:30! But I wanted to make his day special.

Before the debate could be settled between the sleep-deprived Mom and the compassionate, loving Mom, he said, "That's okay. How about pancakes for a snack after school instead?"

The debate was settled. This show of unselfishness from my teenage son would be rewarded with the most amazing pancakes at the crack of dawn . . . even if it killed me (a distinct possibility).

I set about knocking out my to-do list in record speed, determined to go to bed early. The next morning, my boy dragged himself downstairs, dreading spending his birthday in "the torture chamber"--otherwise known as school. When he walked into the kitchen, his eyes went wide and a smile spread across his whole face. "You made pancakes?!"

That simple act of getting up a bit earlier and putting forth a bit more effort into breakfast made him feel special. He knew I valued him more than my sleep (a treasured commodity in my book).

You see, I knew my son felt most-loved when others performed acts of service for him. That's one of the love languages described in The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. In this book, Dr. Chapman explains that we each have a way in which others speak their love for us in a more meaningful way. The five love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. As much as my son loves hugs (okay, maybe not always), he feels most loved when I serve him in some way or share encouraging words with him. When I express love to him in a way that is more meaningful to him, it fills up his tank, so to speak.

That's why on this particular morning I chose to set aside my desire for more sleep to show him how much I love him. It's not easy to speak love to others in a way that may not be natural for me, but seeing his smile that morning made it worth it.

How can we speak love more effectively to those around us?