What NOT to Say to a Homeschool Mom

I am so grateful to friends who have taught me what to say and, more importantly, what NOT to say when someone is dealing with the loss of a loved one or a difficult health prognosis.

This blog is not nearly as important as all of that, but . . . it's what I know.

I am a homeschool mom. This is not a secret.

When I meet another mom, one of the usual topics of conversation is about the kids. So when asked where my kids go to school, I respond, "I homeschool them." More often than not, I hear, "Oh, I could never homeschool!" This is usually followed by why the parent couldn't/wouldn't homeschool.

I really don't mean to be rude, but first of all, I didn't ask. I did not say, "I homeschool. You should, too. What is wrong with you that you don't homeschool like me?!" I realize that there are homeschool moms out there that feel this way, voicing their opinions loudly and often. However, I am not one of them.

Deciding to homeschool is a decision my husband and I made as we try to follow Christ in His will for our family. We recognize that each family must make their own decisions and respect whatever decision they make.

With that said, allow me to return to the awkward conversation. How exactly am I supposed to respond to "Oh, I could never homeschool!"? What always pops in my head (but thankfully stops before it leaves my mouth) is, "Good thing you don't homeschool, then . . . for all of our sakes."

"Oh, I could never homeschool!" Is usually followed by 1 of 3 reasons.

1. "I would never have the patience for that!" Again, how can I respond to that? It's probably not nice to say, "I can see that about you." Just because God has led us to homeschool does not mean that I have any more patience than the next mom (especially on those days that it takes one of my sons 3 hours to complete a single math page).

2. "My son/daughter is way too social to be homeschooled." What am I? Chopped liver? We don't sit at home all day in silence. Based on my experience substituting in the public school system, my kids have more of an opportunity to socialize at home than in school. Some schools I worked in even instituted silent lunches. I suppose socializing with siblings doesn't count either? As far as I'm concerned, if my boys end up friends in the long run, I will have succeeded as a mother. And last but not least, just because we do school at home, doesn't mean we have to stay at home. My kids have friends at the YMCA, on sports teams, at church, and in the neighborhood. Get this: they even have friends that aren't in the same grade. That's just crazy, right?

3. My personal favorite reason: "I could never be around my kid all day long!" Even if you feel this way, you should NEVER say it out loud . . . especially in front of your kid. Granted, kids can be annoying at times, but so can adults. Please, for the sake of the rest of society, if your kid is so annoying that you can't stand being around him/her for any length of time, do something! One day they're going to grow into annoying employees, bosses, neighbors, customer service reps, etc.

Besides, the "Oh, I could never homeschool!" comment, I also occasionally run into phantom testers. These are the moms who, upon hearing that you homeschool, begin to test your children. It goes something like this: "So, Johnny, your mom homeschools you, huh? What's the square root of 13,225?" (It's 115, if you were actually wondering.) I went to a museum the other day with my kids. The admission price was $5 per child and $7 per adult. I have 2 children. The cashier had to write down on a piece of paper 5+5+7=17 (carrying the 1 and all). Because I had a pass to another museum, my admission was half-price, which completely threw him for a loop. I let him struggle for a minute before telling him the total should be $8.50. His response? "That seems right." My 8 year old whispered to me, "That IS right." I wish I could say that this is my only experience with poor basic math skills of cashiers, but then I would be lying. These people were not homeschooled (trust me, I've asked). So if people whose very job it is to handle money, can't do simple math, why do you feel the need to test my kids?

Next time someone says they homeschool, please just say, "that's great," or, "how do you like that?" or, at the very least, "oh". You can never go wrong with, "oh" as a response to almost anything.