Trust
Negative for malignancy. Benign.
These are the lab results you want to hear from your doctor. The days between the test and the results drag. Some complain about the constant companion of nervous thoughts in the back of their minds. I, on the other hand, have trouble focusing on present conversations. Constant questions, thoughts, prayers swirl in the forefront, making it difficult to remain in the here and now. What will the future look like if the results aren’t what we’ve been praying for? What are the next steps? Will treatment work? Lord, please . . .
When lab results are pending, I can watch an entire movie or show and not be able to tell a friend what it was about afterwards. I can’t even read a chapter of a book since I will lose the plot a few minutes in. So, whether we are waiting for our own lab results or the results of a loved one, what do we do? Is there anything we can do?
We can pray.
Before you throw your device across the room and vow to unfriend/block/unfollow me, my intention is not to oversimplify. Of course, we can pray. But how often do we inwardly consider this a last resort? When someone is sick or home from surgery, we ask, “Is there anything I can do? Bring dinner? Help with chores/errands?” The response: “Just pray.” As if that’s somehow less than. When treatment isn’t working . . . “All we can do now is pray.” You might argue that we really don’t mean it that way. Possibly. Then, why do we feel more helpful when we provide a meal than when we offer a prayer?
God invites us to ask. We can come before His throne and beg for life, for health, for extra time.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”
Pray about everything—even when it’s unlikely, even when it’s a long shot, even when it’s impossible. God specializes in the impossible.
What about when the fear creeps back in? Did I not pray hard enough? Where is the peace? I have noticed a trend in the Bible. God’s people often remind each other and God Himself of His promises. From this practice, I have moved away from repeating my prayers to God when faced with fear and uncertainty. Instead, this is my refrain.
I trust You.
How many times do I tell my husband and my sons I love them? Is it because they don’t know? I tell them to remind them . . . and to remind myself. In the middle of an argument or a disappointment, I remind myself I love him.
Just as it is a choice I make to love my husband and sons no matter what, I choose to trust God no matter what. So, instead of asking and begging and pleading the same prayer over and over, I remind God and myself that I trust Him.
In the waiting between the test and the results, during the treatment, against all odds, I entrust the one I love to the God who loves me.
