My Resolve

We may have given up our resolutions for 2022 weeks ago, but I don’t need January 1st of a new year to make resolutions. I am what might be called a serial resolver.

Tomorrow, I resolve to not eat chips.

Starting Monday, I’m going to work out more consistently.

Today, I promise to pray more.

I will memorize one verse of Romans 8 each week, starting on Sunday.

I resolve to drink no more soda . . . right after I finish this one.

While these are good goals in and of themselves, they stem from a lie—a lie I have allowed to burrow into my mind and make itself at home.

I am what I do. More specifically, my value is determined by my accomplishments.

What happens if I eat chips tomorrow? I feel like a failure.

What happens if I miss a workout or two next week? I am a failure.

What happens if I realize tomorrow morning that I forgot to pray even one time yesterday? I am a terrible Christian.

You get the idea.

When my value is determined by what I accomplish in a given day (or week or month), my failed attempts no matter the circumstances are a failure of me as a person.

What does determine my value? Who am I if who I am is not what I do?

I am whose I am.

I am a child of God. I am a daughter of the King of kings and Lord of lords, Who loves me even in the midst of my failings (Romans 5:8).

I am the love of Scott’s life. I know this because he said, “Yes!” to me almost 24 years ago, and he says, “Yes!” to me through countless choices every day.

I am the mother of Josiah and Kaden—sons I have loved since the moment I saw the two pink lines on the pregnancy test and will continue to love through eternity.

I am the daughter and daughter-in-law of parents and in-laws I cherish.

I am the sister of siblings I treasure.

I am the friend of women I adore.

I am the culmination of relationships. When I refute the lie that I am what I do and remember that I am whose I am, my relationships thrive—my relationship with God, my relationship with myself, and my relationship with others.

As I release myself from the undue burden of performing in order to be loved, I can release my loved ones from the burden to perform for my love. God chose to love me with absolutely no work on my part. Therefore, I can extend that love to others.

So, am I saying it’s unhealthy to resolve to change and grow? Absolutely not. As long as it comes from a place of truth.

I am loved just as I am, but my body would feel better if I ate less chips/worked out more/drank less soda. But if I fail, I am not a failure. I will try again tomorrow.

God loves me just as I am, but praying/memorizing verses/spending time with God would help me to be more spiritually healthy (which would also lead to better mental health). But if I fail, I am not a failure. I will try again tomorrow.

I will ask for His forgiveness when I sin and for the strength to try again every time I fail. Out of gratitude for God’s grace, I resolve to seek Him each day, extending grace to myself and others. That’s a resolution I can feel good about.