Forever a Student

I walk bleary-eyed into the kitchen in search of coffee. “Good grief. I am so tired today.”

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

As the coffee begins to clear the brain fog, I notice what day it is. “Do I need to take the kids to church tonight, or can you?”

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

It’s official: I am talking to myself. And it’s not the first time.

I enter my husband’s line of vision and touch his arm. He looks up, startled. “Good morning!”

I could be offended at being ignored. I could feel hurt and slighted. I could wonder if I’m loved. But I don’t.

Scott is knee-deep in a 17-page paper for a class. The truth is I am actually a little jealous of his ability to tune out distractions while he’s working. I wish I could focus without the help of noise-canceling headphones and a door barricaded to the outside world.

My husband has been a pastor for 23 years, but he longs to lead people better. So he stays up late reading textbooks and rises early to write papers. The time and effort are worth it because the people he pastors are worth it.

I have been a Christian for 29 years. Do I still want to learn how to be a better disciple of Christ? Do I want to grow in my relationship with the Lord? How teachable am I?

Do I sacrifice time and energy to study the Word of God? Do I prioritize times of prayer and meditation? Do I seek God’s will through fasting? Do I practice other spiritual disciplines?

I would like to answer yes to all of these questions, but compared to Scott’s focus on his classes, I’m not so sure.

Forever a student: I commit in this moment to be a student of the faith, of the Bible . . . a disciple of Christ for the rest of my life. The time and effort are worth it because my relationship with God is worth it.

Will you join me?