Traveling Woes
Shouldn't we all have jet packs by now? Considering the difficulty of traveling, it seems like someone much smarter than me should've developed them.
First, we have to find plane tickets. With so many options, why does the price go up so much from leaving at 7 a.m. to leaving at 10 a.m.? Does it really cost the airline $150 more to fly three hours later? Does gas burn faster later in the day?
When we finally settle on a terribly scheduled flight plan, it's time to pack. I don't want to be suckered into paying an extra $50 ($25 each way) in order for the privilege of checking luggage so the struggle begins . . . How do I fit all of the shoes, clothes, and toiletries I need in a carry-on? Answer: take over part of my kids' suitcases.
Considering where we live, we have to drive 45 minutes to an hour to get to the airport. After finally getting to the airport, we get in line for security. Here we remove our shoes and jackets, empty pockets, separate toiletries, and our dignity. When we've cleared security, we make our way to the gate where we wait . . . and wait . . . and sometimes we even have to change gates . . . and wait.
If you think class distinction no longer exists, just observe the boarding of an airplane. It goes something like this: first, anyone needing assistance is called for boarding. So far, so good. People with disabilities or harried mothers with children hanging off of them along with loads of gear should have the privilege of boarding without a mass of people.
Next, the ruling class boards, also known as first class. Nobility, also known as medallion members or something similar, follows shortly after. So far the boarding process has been fairly civil and organized. Boarding the main cabin is where it gets dicey. A rumble begins among the remaining peasant class, also known as coach. We all know that there are only a limited number of coveted overhead bins. What we, the common mass, don't know is who will board first. Will they board from the rear of the plane or the front? I think they determine who boards first by a flip of a coin. Somehow on the last flight we took, they boarded zone 2, 4, 5, then 3. Guess which zone we were in. You got it: 3. Why did they board out of order? I have a sneaking suspicion that it was just to mess with us. During the last zone, what they should announce is, "Now, for the real losers."
The dreaded last zone to board has to endure the ridiculing stares from the more fortunate earlier boarding groups. Of course, there are not enough overhead bins left so our luggage must be checked. We can retrieve our damaged bags from the abyss called baggage claim. Why are they damaged, you say? The handlers know we didn't pay the added fee for checked bags so they're ready to get even.
Finally we are settled in our seats. This is the happy part of the trip. The time when the feeling of lift off so often pulls me into blessed sleep. We are served drinks from friendly flight attendants, who even collect our trash afterwards.
All good things must come to an end, as my bladder fills. As I make my way to the rear of the plane, every person I pass knows exactly where I'm going and what I'm about to do. For an introvert, this is not good. I wait in the aisle trying to squeeze myself into a thinner version of myself as people try to maneuver past me to return to their seats.
I got a special treat during this trip to the bathroom. The lights weren't working. Oh boy. The flight attendant gave me a flashlight and a thumbs up for good luck. I found a place to wedge the flashlight, giving me just enough light to not wet myself or put my hand somewhere that might cause me to lose my breakfast. Of course, the light started working as soon as I came out of the bathroom. Figures.
After waiting to get off the plane, waiting for our luggage at baggage claim, and driving to the house, our trip is finally complete . . . until it's time to fly home.
So I say again, wouldn't it be great to have jet packs? I could strap it on along with a change of clothes, step outside and take off. I could fly a few hours, landing in the yard of the person I want to visit.
Can someone please make this happen, preferably before summer when I'll need to fly again? Traveling would be so much easier with a jet pack, wouldn't it?
