Distraction or Connection

I open my journal, prepare the Bible app to read a chapter of Scripture, and call out a short prayer: God, I want to hear from You.

A whistling interrupts my prayer. I jump up to silence the noise before it wakes the whole house. Tea now brewing … where was I? Oh, right, God, I want to hear from You.

A banner notifying me of an incoming email jars me out of my concentration. Double star day at Starbucks. Yes, please. Maybe I can squeeze in some time to stop by there today.

I remember the tea brewing. I’ll drink it while I read my Bible. By the time I sit back down, I realize my time is running out. I promised a friend I would meet her at the gym. I listen to the Bible and read along but I’m distracted, worried about the time.

I roll into the gym just in time for the start of class, stealing time for a quick hug and hello for my workout buddy, who keeps me motivated to torture myself every day.

I try to stay focused on the instructions from the drill sergeant leading the class, but I get distracted. What time does Josiah work? So if I leave here right after class, I’ll have just enough time to pick him up and get him to work on time.

My workout buddy is giggling. What? Did she do something or say something that I missed because I was planning the next thing?

After racing to Josiah’s job and back home, it’s time for lunch with Kaden. Kaden is a funny and creative kid, but I just can’t seem to focus on his goofy anecdotes. What time do I need to pick up Josiah? What do we need to get done before then? Please can I have an easy day of helping these boys with school?

Too quickly, Kaden is cleaning up. What’s he saying? Something cool he learned about in history this morning? I must’ve been distracted at the beginning of this conversation.

All through the day, a theme reveals itself: distracted.

Though my husband has never been tested, he shows all the signs of ADHD. We have been married for 20 years, slowly molding each other into more and more of ourselves. In short, I blame my husband … but only partly. Okay fine, I am a woman responsible for my own choices in life — both good and bad.

I chose to be distracted this day along with countless other days. I missed the laughter of a friend. I missed the joy of a child. I missed the gentle nudging of God that only comes in the still places.

A life full of distraction leaves a heart craving connection.

Opportunities to connect with friends, family, and God stand abandoned at the trap of multitasking. No more.

I choose to live in the moment. I choose to sacrifice my agenda in the presence of God. I choose to set aside my scrambled thoughts during mealtime. I choose to surrender my relentless wonderings during conversations.

I choose connection.

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