A Mother’s Example


Mother’s Day is right around the corner so for all you mothers out there, let me take a moment to wish you a day of pampering and peace. The blessings of motherhood are many–blessings that can also be considered challenges.

You are never lonely … but you are never alone (not even in the bathroom). Even when they’re teenagers, they knock and demand your attention.

You are shown just how strong you can be … by the many adversities you will face. I used to nearly pass out at the sight of blood until my little guy depended on me to care for his sliced open and gushing forehead. I used to be a people-pleaser until I had to stand my ground against a 3-foot bully.

You are loved beyond measure, showered with hugs and kisses … by the same child who claims to hate you when he doesn’t get his way.

Motherhood is full of blessings and challenges, fits of laughter and overwhelming responsibilities. I’m reminded of the time I was walking to a water ride at Carrowinds with my sons. Out of the blue one boy said, “Someday I want to marry a girl as intelligent and beautiful as you, Mom.” Not wanting to be left out, the other boy added, “And God-loving!” My heart melted; it was so sweet! What did I ever do to deserve such demonstrations of love from my boys. It’s true: I stayed up all hours of the night with them, wiped their disgusting bums countless times, cleaned up their vomit, and used every trick in the book to feed them, but these comments still seemed over the top. I was flying high on love, until the weight crashed down on me.

They want to marry a girl like me?! Oh, boy.

As the mother of my boys, I carry the added responsibility of being the kind of woman they may marry someday. Am I good enough? The anxiety began to build in my chest. That’s when I felt the gentle nudging. I heard the voice of God–not audible, just a gentle whisper in my mind–reminding me of the most important characteristics I would want a future daughter-in-law to have.

I want her to be a follower of Christ, not just a Christian but someone who follows Him with her all. And I want her to be a woman full of grace. She will accept God’s grace–His unearned favor–and extend that grace to others. 

If I want this kind of daughter-in-law for my boys, then that’s the kind of woman I want to be. Does that mean I have to be a perfect godly woman? Absolutely not! (Whew!)

It means i follow Christ no matter what, even if I stumble along the way. I live a life of surrender to God, accepting His forgiveness and grace each time I mess up. It means I ask others, including my boys, for their forgiveness when my failures hurt them, too. It means I encourage others to live a life of grace. It’s not my job to judge them, even when they do things or say things I don’t agree with.
This is what my responsibility boils down to: surrender. If I live a life of surrender to God, I have succeeded as a mother. It may not be easy but there is such freedom in it. 


One Comment

  1. Kristin Ebel
    Kristin EbelReply
    May 11, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Thank you Tammy for this reminder. Joseph will be 17 on Friday and we have already begun the final high school moments. So much emphasis is placed on fathers to be the example for what daughters should look for in a husband that we forget as moms we have this important role as well. This is also a reminder that I should be praying for my future daughter-in-law. I know my son is a wonderful man with a beautiful forgiving heart and I pray that my daughter-in-law will appreciate that in him as well. I will never forget the talk Jane did one Mother’s day on “Mothers Do Not Have To Be Perfect.” It was exactly the grace I needed that day and became a new beginning for me. I now extend that same grace to other mothers and hope that I can extend the same grace to my future daughter-in-law. Love and Miss you guys so much!

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